USVI-On-Line

I wish ... for oh so many reasons!

ScubaGirl wrote:All this head talk, reminds me of Vicki's "poop" e-mail. Vicki, you should really post it. Made me almost wet my pants.

California Girl wrote:Ok, THIS I gotta' hear!!

Okay, CAGirl. After some diligent searching, I found it. If you are easily offended, don't keep reading (I know this does not apply to 99.9% of the forum population).

See....Sydney sent me a very reasonable and serious email entitled "Lessons for Using the Head." It had information about what you can and can't flush, when not to flush, how use of vegetable oil in the bowl can help, pumping the lever, etc.

I, however, being "not right in the head" had to come up with my own version. I called it, "Vicki's Boat Poop Tips." This is just for you. You're gonna' need it in about a month.

1) Eat a lot of foods the week prior to the trip that have a high "constipation factor." Things like cheese, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. This eliminates the need for "Poop Tips" #2 - #5.

2) If Tip #1 is not appealing to you, in the alternative, you can eat a lot of super high fiber foods the week prior to the trip like boxes of Fiber One or even foods that you've left in the refrigerator a little too long. This should at least ensure that you will not have the "log" problem mentioned in the "Lessons for Using the Head," assuring you that whatever comes out will be easy to flush. A side benefit could also be that in many cases, you probably won't even make it to the head before....you know.....so you don't have to worry about flushing at all. I would recommend carrying a bucket with you though. Blue buckets are nice.

3) If a couple drops of vegetable oil in the bowl may help with the flushing action, just imagine what it could do if you just drank it instead. Just sayin'.

4) If #1 - #3 don't work, blame the toilet stoppage on your husband or any man on the boat. "He did it. It wasn't me."

5) If all else fails, call Matt. His primary job is designing sewage systems. People pay him to make $hit disappear. If he can do it for them, he can do it for us.

California Girl wrote:Ok, so we need to come up with a name for the new boat drink: Vegetable Oil & Cruzan Mango.

"The Slip?"

Wow I can't believe you are at the 30 day mark. How exciting! I am feeling a bit jealous. I hope you all have an incredible time. Hope your dolphins stop by to say "Hi" to you. Have fun!

First, yeah for you Margo and Rick and gang!! Can't wait to finally meet all of you!!
Vicki...the "log" problem...Now that's funny! Who knew that vegetable oil aids in flushing??
I see Mary Poppins on deck wearing her zinc oxide and flippers singing, "Just a spoonful of oil makes the big turds go down. In the most delighful way...!"
You guys are a hoot!

LMG wrote:

California Girl wrote:Ok, so we need to come up with a name for the new boat drink: Vegetable Oil & Cruzan Mango.

"The Slip?"

That's a great name for a boat drink! Mudslide's already been taken, hasn't it?

30 days for us also. It can't come soon enough!!

carron wrote:30 days for us also. It can't come soon enough!!

Wooohooo! Will you be at the Beach Bar on Sunday, the 26th?

[quote="VickiH"]If #1 - #3 don't work, blame the toilet stoppage on your husband or any man on the boat. "He did it. It wasn't me."

This is my backup plan! Not that i'll need to use it.

It's always the boy isn't it? Sorry if this is TMI but good godfrey, I've never seen anyone use as much TP as the boys at my house do. I swear half the roll is gone everytime one of them visits the pot! They're always messing $hit up!

And don't even get me started on who changes the roll! It's always OVER the waterfall people!

Boat poop tips LOL!

California Girl wrote:

LMG wrote:

California Girl wrote:Ok, so we need to come up with a name for the new boat drink: Vegetable Oil & Cruzan Mango.

"The Slip?"

That's a great name for a boat drink! Mudslide's already been taken, hasn't it?

How about "The Poop Deck"
( I miss your other Avatarrrr !!)

Cruzan Chris

We're going to try our best for the Beach Bar 4/26!!

California Girl wrote:

LMG wrote:

California Girl wrote:Ok, so we need to come up with a name for the new boat drink: Vegetable Oil & Cruzan Mango.

"The Slip?"

That's a great name for a boat drink! Mudslide's already been taken, hasn't it?

I read this this afternoon and am STILL laughing!

Can't wait to hear all about your adventures on the boat. I hope to plan a trip like it some day.

Enjoy your countdown!!

If I had a video camera, I would NEVER take it on vacation!