need advice from old forum friends!

Xislandgirl · Post by **Xislandgirl** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:44 pm

I have to ditto most of the PPs. Let her go!

Give her the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons and make the decision for herself. She will understand what she will need to do to make up the work and she will be responsible for her choice.

Kids are pushed too darn hard at such a young age. Missing 2 days of school to see her teen heartthrobs will not affect her academic career but it will giver her a memory that she will never forget.

I remember those days. Seeing the Police with that, oh so steamy, Sting! Ahhh, those were the days!

mbw1024 · Post by **mbw1024** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:57 pm

I remember wanting to go see a band in HS, wish I could remember who it was now. It was a week night and my mother was mad at me for something else so she said "ask your father". The one and ONLY time she threw me that line. Of course he knew if I was asking him there was trouble at the front line so she said no. I was um .. unhappy! DARN wish I could remember who that was! hahahahaa

As someone who just put her 108th Springsteen show in the books I think I should refrain from commenting any further on this!

jmq · Post by **jmq** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:15 pm

PA Girl wrote:Is she good student that takes school seriously? Assuming she can make up the work, I would let her go.

Two days away from school isn't going to matter that much over the long run.

Been there, done similar, so I'm with PA and others on this. This may be about the last time you could consider missing time from school if she is on that arc because if you think 9th grade AP and honors is a heavy lift, wait til the next 3 yrs when in reality it would be more of an issue as it could more directly impact AP and SAT II subject matter testing results.

However, you know your daughter best and, ONLY if you know in your gut that she is already one of those mostly self motivated high achievers, you can lay down the conditions for going to the show and more likely than not she will reward your faith by doing whatever time shifting would be necessary to crush those tests.

chicagoans · Post by **chicagoans** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:25 pm

I'd be on the side of "let her go." But she has to understand that if school work is hard to make up or if grades suffer, that's a consequence that she will need to deal with and it's her responsibility. She'll have tough decisions all her life, and she'll have consequences from those. This could be a good life lesson no matter what choice she makes.

BTW my perspective is from: I have a 15 y.o. freshman DD in honors classes and a 13 y.o. 7th grade DS; ours is a highly competitive school district. The pressure on these kids can be enormous and sometimes they need a break.

I went to STJ without them last month to do 8 Tuff, and I'm already thinking I will pull them out of school to come with me next year. I don't think their college or career options will be affected.

Have you seen the documentary "Race to Nowhere"? It deals with the pressures of high school. It's an eye opener. (Although they made a big deal about it at our school, and nothing changed.)

Ali · Post by **Ali** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:26 pm

Yes, let her go. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring for young and old. Life is very short. And no, 2 days of no school will not end her future - AP or otherwise. Just get her to agree to something in return for the opportunity. That's how it works in the real world. Good luck!

FinsUp · Post by **FinsUp** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:24 pm

My vote is to let her go!! She's a good kid, a good student and will have adult supervision, you said it all!!! I think the lesson to be learned here is, if you always work hard and do your best, there will be time for reward. You cannot always make the reward come to you, you have to go get it! She's got a good head on her shoulders and she won't disappoint with her grades. And even if she does, let it be a learning opportunity!! My 86 yo aunt's words of wisdom are "We only have today. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring!!!"

cocosmom · Post by **cocosmom** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:52 pm

Ok, giving the teacher side..what is your state rules on absences. Ours are very strict. Three absences a quarter gets a parent letter 5 gets a attendance contract. If a student is out for her reason, teachers are not required to give work ahead. If her attendance has been good, and she won't miss exam review/ work, she should be ok

djmom · Post by **djmom** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:25 pm

Ok guys, we are trying for tickets! They are selling VIP, presale, etc...etc...so it might take a few days!

Florida Girl · Post by **Florida Girl** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:59 pm

Yay!

Can't wait to hear what tix you get!

FinsUp · Post by **FinsUp** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:59 pm

Good choice Mom...

chrisn · Post by **chrisn** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:25 pm

I say let her go! Life is too short as it is! She should get to live it!

martini girl · Post by **martini girl** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:13 pm

Let her go. We took our two daughters out of school every year for an entire week up to and including our oldest daughter's freshman year. She was in all honors classes, got good grades and was a hard worker. She caught up after a lot of work, but after freshman year, she refused to be taken out of school for vacation. Fast forward to her junior year where she was afraid to call in sick for even one day for fear of missing any classes. She came down with mono plus some complications and missed over 4 weeks of school, all of feb and part of march. She is slowly making it up, is surviving, and is still getting good grades.

My point is, if your daughter is a good, conscientious student, she will be fine. Two days off of school should not ruin an entire quarter or semester. My girls still remember when we took them out of school for a few days to go to Atlantis to see the Jonas Brothers three years ago. It will be worth the extra work on her part.

KatieH · Post by **KatieH** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:14 pm

I think you should let her go. Tell her that you've decided to let her go because she's a good student, and you know she'll do what she needs to in order to catch up with anything she's missed. It's really a reward for working hard and getting good grades, a reward which will hopefully reinforce/ promote more hard work

ps - my niece - who is not a morning girl - set her alarm and got up at 3 am to see them live in NYC when they performed on the Today Show.

djmom · Post by **djmom** » Sat Mar 24, 2012 11:35 am

OMG SHES GOING! Ha ha ha....the ticketmaster sold out in 2 seconds, didn't get that but found 2 on some site that my friend said is good, ticket liquidators? So crossing my fingers on that one as far as fraud, got a reasonable price (too much, but whatever) on great seats....hotel booked.

Not sure if I'll go and get nosebleed seats or if I will walk them to the door....not sure how much good I can do if I'm not sitting with them. Seems like the Patriot Center is small and she's a second degree blackbelt, so that helps....

Anyways, thanks for pushing me along on this. You do only live once. She'll never forget it.

FinsUp · Post by **FinsUp** » Sat Mar 24, 2012 11:46 am

Yippee!! Yay for you and your daughter!! You're right, she won't forget it!! Also, you're sending her the message that you believe in her and appreciate all of her hard work and good choices thus far!! It will motivate her to continue doing what she's doing!!! Congrats on a job well done

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need advice from old forum friends!